I need to pp September 30, 2008

I love it when I read something in my devos, I’m having a conversation w/someone, etc… and then that very same topic is re-iterated through someone or something else. My last post I talked about patience and perseverance. That same day I was reading Moment(something that Tim and I read separately each day, email each other our thoughts to the discussion questions, and then have follow up discussion via phone in the evening. Being that we are doing the long-distance-thing, this has been a great avenue for us to not only grow our relationship w/God, but also w/each other, as it has brought about conversations that are vital to the continual development of a healthy and God-honoring relationship).

 

Let me get back on track… Shortly after posting my last blog, I read that days devo. It was about patience! I laughed out loud and immediately recognized God was trying to catch my attention. The following day, you guessed it, the devo was about perseverance. I again laughed out loud, and took note of the fact that this too is an area that God was clearly reinforcing in my life. I wasn’t sure exactly what God wanted me to be learning about patience and perseverance outside of wedding planning and my internship during those few days, but I am now it tune to these two P’s, and just so happened to be having a very bad attitude today about a situation at work, growing frustrated with “the process.” In a still, small, loving way God gently reminded me to RELAX… be patient, persevere, take care of your responsibilities, and do so with a right heart and I will bless you! 

Noted! Thus, I need to pp…

Internship, Shminternship September 22, 2008

I don’t know how people blog everyday… I just can’t keep up with it!

I am just over half way done with my internship hours. One night, when I couldn’t sleep due to worrying about getting in my hours by the deadline, and also worrying about wedding plans, I decided rather than continue to toss and turn in bed, I would do something mindless. So, I made two seperate charts. Chart number one: I am counting down the days I have left till my deadline. Chart number two: I am counting down the hours that I have left until I fulfill my necessary face-to-face client hours. I feel a great sense of joy and accomplishment as I cross of each hour that I complete. However, my feeling with chart number one are mixed. On one hand I do feel a joyful anticipation that December 12th is almost here, knowing that I can finally have a life again. However, at the same time, I nearly have a panic attack each time I look at my chart, realizing that I have less and less time to gain the hours needed!

 

Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~ Nightingale 

 

On to the aforementioned wedding planning… Oh, by the way, Tim & I are engaged!!! (more to come on how he popped the question later, promise)! In light of being consumed by my internship and work, I have not had much time to devote to wedding planning. Without a doubt, the wedding planning flood gates will fly wide open on December 13th. I am finding it quite frustrating to have to delay the process of planning and decision making for our special day, but I have a very full plate right now, and need to focus on my immediate goal. This is becoming increasingly difficult since I always figured I would be the type of bride-to-be that had everything planned within the first month of being engaged. Well, I can tell ya, I missed that deadline. It has been one month and one day since we got engaged!

 

 Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. ~ Gingrich

 

God is definitely teaching me patience and perseverance both through the trials that have come about with my Internship, school, and work, as well as daily reminding me that I need to focus on what He has given me to do TODAY… Not worrying about all that I will suddenly feel needs to be done at 12:01am on December 13th!!! Ahhh, I cannot wait for December 13th. What a glorious day that will be. Hopefully all of my hard work will come to fruition, and I will wake up on 12/13/08 a very happy, internship-free woman!!!

 

With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable. ~ Buxton

 

 

What’s in a name? September 17, 2008

I have been struggling lately to find time to be in the Word daily. With trying to piece together the face-to-face hours that I need with clients that I am getting working a full-time job, and by working several part-time internships, I am just plain old drained and exhausted. 65+ hours of work a week is in no way fun! I am feeling drained, sleepy, irritable, ill, and anxious. Even though it isn’t easy, I am finding that when I make time to just be still and quiet with God, I feel refreshed. I may not look any different after having taken some much needed quiet time. The bags and dark circles under my eyes do not automatically de-puff just because I have opened my Bible, wouldn’t that be nice! But, more importantly my heart and mind feel refreshed, and no anti-wrinkle cream or refreshing cucumber slices could ever do that!

 

I have been taking a closer look at the names of God… King, Mighty One, Redeemer, and Refuge. God as my refuge indicates that He is consistent. Pretty amazing, when I think of the great inconsistencies in this world, particularly in my own life. My Refuge is also strong, wise, powerful, and the great provider of hope. I find peace in these truths, despite the overwhelming lack of sleep, the fact that I barely have time to eat or shower (that sounds gross, I realize. it’s sad, but true) and the insane hours I have been working. 

 

God is my refuge
My refuge and my strength
I will not be shaken all of my days
And I won't move from your presence
Of your holiness I will sing
I will take refuge
In the shadow of your wings

~Lifehouse

I’m Still Alive… May 6, 2008

Seriously, worst blogger ever, right here! Quick recap…

I am back in NY and have been for about 2 months. I’ve experienced a whole range of emotions since being home. It’s weird… in a good way, to be here, and to have this time with my family. I have begun my Practicum. I am actually about 1/4 of the way through it at this point! I could write a novel about the experiences I had, and the fiery hoops I jumped through in order to line everything up, but God brought all the pieces of the puzzle together at just the right time. I have an amazing supervisor, several (aka 5) great sites that I am accumulating my hours at. The problem… all of the sites are unpaid and require some travel. So, with the price of gas, and not having had a pay check for over 3 months, I occasionally have a meltdown. I am envisioning Honda coming back and repo-ing my car.

So, that brings me to my next point. I have spent the majority of my free time while in Ny adding to my jewelry inventory. I have made several new pieces and am having my first jewelry party with several of my girlfriends next week. Hopefully it will go well, for my sake, and for Honda (she really needs a name… any ideas?) Seriously though, I am really looking forward to seeing everyone!

God has been doing amazing things since I have been home in every area of my life, and I could not be more grateful for His continual guidance, grace, and faithfulness. I am daily amazed by the things He can do that I truly that were impossible. You would think I’d learn by now… God’s plans are SO much bigger than mine, and He is truly all about providing for His children beyond our wildest dreams and imagination!

Well, it’s about that time… I am very slowly making progress on my LAST research paper for my graduate career. I just want to finish it, turn it in, and  breathe easy… But, I have been super busy, and have been finding other more exciting things to do with any spare time I have had.

13 pages left…

 

We are adults… When did this happen? January 28, 2008

Today is my youngest brother’s birthday. Normally this would not bring a glistening tear to my eye, but he is 30, and basically now has one foot in the grave! Jacob is 32, Jared is 30, and I am 25… When in the world did this happen? Just the other day Jacob was beating the crap out of me because I snuck into his room to rummage through his stuff, trying to find mushy love letters from his girlfriend. Just the other day Jared and I were playing tennis at the park.  Now we are adults… well, they are adults. I am just the prodigal child who is moving back home with mom and dad.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It is really neat to see my brothers with their children (they each have 2 kids), although this makes us all seem that much older. They are both really wonderful father’s, and I know I am slightly biased, but they have the coolest kids I have ever met in my life!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       I always figured by 25 I would be married and maybe even have a kid on the way. Clearly my life has taken a slightly different route, and in all actuality, I am quite okay with it (although, I am aware of the fact that my biological clock is ticking… kidding). In my life plan, I always figured I would be done with grad school by this point, but I am still plugging away at it. There are still alot of things I would like to accomplish by the time I turn 30… 4.5 years and counting, let’s just hope that grad school is checked off the list by then!

An Equation for Hope January 26, 2008

I am the worlds worst blogger! There is no acceptable excuse that I could offer for going over a month with absolutely no updated posts.  I am going to be optimistic though… I believe there is still hope for me and my lack of blogging abilities!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 I have been reading Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy by E. L. Worthington Jr. Though I am only on Chapter 2, entitled Bird’s Eye View of Hope Focused Marriage Counseling, so far it has been a good read. Here’s a few things that really stood out to me in chapter 2…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Hope = Willpower to change + Waypower to change + Waitpower even if change is not happening.                                                                                                                                                                                                           Hope provides the motivation to work, it is more than conquering obstacles, and it involves perseverance.                                                                                                                                                                                       “Hope involves the certitude that God is with us through difficult circumstances, even when He has not made a way around those circumstances. Like Daniel’s three Israelite friends, Someone walks through the furnace with us. Like the Israelites in captivity in Egypt, Someone works hand in hand with us. Like Stephen amid the stones of his enemies, we see that Someone. Hope involves a motivation to endure when we cannot change circumstances. Hope involves a vision of a way through suffering: willpower and waypower to endure with the help of the Triune God… God is the author of hope. He builds both mental willpower and waypower. He provides waitpower. He is the source of all power…”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       I have never really given much thought to the fact that God brings us through rather than around the difficulties that we will inevitably face in life. I believe it is the process of traveling hand in hand with God through these times that can strengthen our faith, as well as strengthen our willpower, waypower, and waitpower. I am willing, waying, and waiting on 2008 to be a great year full of changes, knowing that amidst it all Someone will be right beside me walking me hand and hand THROUGH the changes, obstacles, trials, tears, laughter, and joy that this year will bring!

The good, the bad, and the ugly December 19, 2007

Every day that’s gone by since I last blogged, seems to make it that much harder to want to keep up with this silly thing. However, I am sure the day will come when I will take the time to refelct on this part of my life and I will have this special little blog to remind me of the good, the bad, and the ugly…

Speaking of the good, I have a new niece who is truly a miracle baby! I have yet to meet her, but will be doing so on Friday night and that moment cannot get here soon enough! I cant wait to see her, and hold her, and kiss her, and cry because that’s what I do! My nephews have been the biggest blessings in my life, and I am sure Madilyn will be just as amazing as Joel, Jake, and Owen are.

On to the bad, I finally heard word from the possible internship I have been hoping and praying would work out. It’s a no go. I am having a hard time swallowing this and just continually trying to remind myself that this is all going to work out, and that God must have something better in store for me. Though I am trying not to worry, I am. Financially the next year is going to be really rough. I just depleted my entire savings account this morning to pay for the upcomng semster of school. This normally wouldn’t phase me, but since I will be jobless and homeless as of January 5th, I’ve gotta be honest, it’s quite unsettling.

And lastly, the ugly. I ‘attempted’ to put a few face framing highlites in my hair last evening. Something I have done a million times. I have had my fair share of hair dye mishaps. But, lately it has been coming out just fine.  Let me tell you, everything is not fine! I have crossed of “highlight hair” from my to do list, and have now added “fix hair.” 

Hello world! December 13, 2007

I’m so nervous right now. I am feeling crazy pressure to deliver something smart, witty, and cutting edge in my very first blog ever! Yet, I don’t have anything to say, and in actuality I am slightly doubtful that I will keep up with this whole blog scene. Not that I am trying to be a pessimist. On the contrary, I actually have been trying my hardest to practice the art of optimism and contentment lately. Except that my life is in shambles right now, as I am on the brink of being jobless and homeless. But, you the reader most likely already were aware of this sad but true fact, since it is clearly displayed in my tagline (is that the correct term?). In any case, things are up in the air with school, my (non-existent) internship, my (soon-to-be-ending) job, my living arrangements, and just about every other area of my life. I almost feel like I should be slightly more on edge than I am. I guess I just have a peace that everything will work out exactly when it should, as it should. I’m not gonna lie, though I am trying to be optimistic, the more I write and think about the changes that are on the horizon, the more my heart begins to palpitate. So, on that note, I think this will conclude my first blog ever… and hopefully not my last!